It suffocates her
She can’t deal with the screaming
It kills her inside
But she’s learned to be braver
Silence is her biggest fear
Darkness
Lost in the darkness
She finds comfort in small things
But never in light
Innocence
In the beginning
No one was without it
Now
One moment and it’s lost forever
Chaos rules us
Everybody has it
Not everyone sees it
Can’t escape it
Everyone looses it sometime
Who Am I?
Raven
Short, kind, loving, strong
Daughter of Roxann and a man best left out of my life
Lover of music, writing, and the pursuit of happiness
Who feels there’s something better out there, strength is fading from life, and lost in the chaos
Who finds happiness in the simple beautiful moments of life
Who needs just a little guidance through the chaos
Who gives too much to people who deserve so little
Who fears death is making a practical joke, light and silence will be her end, and chaos is all there will ever be
Who would like to see the people of the world change
Who enjoys dogs, friends, family, anime, and gaming
Who likes to wear hoodies and Converse
Resident of this life
Smith
Temptation
She remember it
The feel of his skin against her own
His lips pressing passionately against her own mirrored passion
The way he held her close to keep her warm
She remembers it all too well
She misses it
She still sees him
Gives him a ride home or to work
Just a seemingly harmless thing
But it’s the only thing she can do to stay close
She talks to him
Like it’s no big deal to be next to him
But
Damn
Are his lips so inviting
He pulls her in for a hug
She smiles
Holding back everything
She wants to kiss him
She wants to be his again
But
It will never happen again
He kisses her
One last time
Bringing her one step closer to insanity
The temptation to much
She smiles
Glad to have his lips on more time
She drives off
Not looking back
Even though
Anyone who knows her know what just happened
Damn him
The thought is the only thing running through her mind
She whispers goodbye
Hoping to never see him again
But
As always
The next day she does
Trust Me (teaser)
‘Trust me…’
Those are of the last words she said to me. Her name is Hailey, and I did trust her, but my mistake was just that. Trusting her. I’ll never trust her again, or anyone for that matter. It only gets me hurt. By her reputation, I should’ve known it’d never last. I’m not quite sure why I’m even thinking of her, but, as I sit here waiting for the bus, she’s what I’m think about. Maybe, it’s because I thought I loved her, but I don’t love her anymore, in fact I could care less about her existence, so why I’m thinking about her, I don’t know. Most people say I’m still in love with her, I never really got over her, and everything else most people say when someone just stops caring, I think I’ve heard it all, but I know I don’t care, and that’s what matters.
The bus pulls up, I get on, and start the long route to school. I’m in a seat by myself, so I sit looking out the window.
‘Trust me. I’m not the kind of girl to have sex, then just leave. If you think that… Starr, if you really think that… You’re no better than any of the men I’ve dated…’
I remember that night and the morning after quite well. We were at Hailey’s house. She threw a party for me, and the sex was supposed to be my birthday present, but everything was so I didn’t make a scene and so she could keep up her rep. I should’ve known what she wanted when she took me upstairs. I should’ve known when she wouldn’t cuddle with me, she always cuddled with me, what was about to happen. I should’ve known when she said we needed to talk what she was going to say, but I didn’t.
Random Pictures
Ra
nd
I just thought they were pretty n that I needed to put something up here cuz it’s been so long.
Happy Alone
I’m happy
I’m alone
But I’m happy
Truly happy
It’s strange
I get up and don’t dread doing so
I ‘ve stopped caring completely what other people think of me
I am who I am
I don’t want to change
It’s strange
But I like it
Everything seems so clear anymore
Though I’ve become unfocused
Oh well
I’m just happy being happy
Regret and Almost Regret
I watch you as you play your game
Winning most every round
You look at me at me
Without letting anyone know you care
I can see something in your eye
I take a drink
Trying to ignore it
Hoping the vodka washes it all away
I feel safe
Even though I’m not as close to you as I’d like to be
You always make me feel safe
I want to get closer to you
You know I do
But you shove me away with your eyes
So I go to the living room
I curse myself for letting you have control
I curse myself for staying when I should’ve gone with my cousin
I curse myself for loving you
You keep looking back at me
Not often
But enough to let me know you’re making an effort to
You act like you want me in your life
But you keep pushing me away
I wonder if you’re trying not to get more attached than you already are
I wonder if you’re falling for me
You’re looking for things not to be around
I know you are
You try to argue with me
I refuse to
I just sit inside myself
Hurting
You’ve hurt me so much
I don’t know what do
He sits down next to me
Listens
Then he pulls me into the bedroom
I feel your anger
I don’t care at the moment
I need the wrecklessness
You weren’t prepared for it the night before
So it’s your fault
And mine
I want you in my life
I need you in my life
But I need to know if you really care
Or if you don’t care at all
You said one time you didn’t want to hurt me
I said you couldn’t hurt me
But I lied
To protect you
To keep you in my life
I almost regret it
But only almost
Broken Notes 